Testament To The Sky
by Unknown Pursuer
Summary: Christian struggles to rebuild himself after Satine’s death via song. A reflection piece, if you will.


Testament To The Sky~ by: writinforlife  
  
Summary: Christian struggles to rebuild himself after Satine's death via song. A reflection piece, if you will. R&R wanted. Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the story's idea. The character's and song belong to creative geniuses that I will never know. I wanna be a genius too!!!! R&R PLEASE! ***** "She's gone."  
  
Christian whispered the testament of his living nightmare aloud. He placed his face back in his hands, still mourning over her death. It was all so tragic, so unexpected for Christian. He had become a different person, isolating himself from all that he had known. He refused any and all visitors unless they brought him another round of alcohol or cigarettes. He had barely eaten and his weight has dramatically decreased, leaving him looking more like a malnourished teenager instead of a formerly happy adult. His boyish grin had disappeared and his eyes had lost their old sparkle. The soft blue tint he had formerly held had turned to gray and black at times.  
  
How long had it been? Christian had lost all track of time. He knew not if mere days had passed, or if the weeks and months had snuck by without his notice. What had he become? Was he nothing more than a helpless, sad human being who felt he had nothing left in the world? He did not know and could not understand anything that had happened the day his worst nightmares came true. Through the hazy, blurry picture due to the alcohol that flooded his system, he even believed that he saw Satine at times.  
  
Christian had gone mad. He had slowly deteriorated until he reached the point that turned the world of color into gray and all his emotions were flat lined. All he knew were his silly dreams, sadness, Absinthe, the green fairy and a sense of loneliness beyond any other. He had claimed that Satine had been with him many times, especially when a visitor came. Though he made them leave, he still told them of his latest visit from her. Toulouse was worried about his poor friend, who had even imagined that he had woken up with her one morning. How could he let his friend become a madman? And yet, no one knew what they could do to help or change the outcome of the situation. No women were welcomed by the heartbroken poet, nor were close friends of Satine's. What was left? How could they change what had already occurred? ***** Christian downed another shot of the green hallucinogen and stumbled over to the windowsill he and Satine had occupied on several occasions. He wondered if the sun even rose anymore as he stared out into darkness; an abyss that was beyond the soul of the brokenhearted, depressed poet. He wished for one more day with her. A day to be able to say his final goodbyes properly as he had in his dreams. He wished that his useless dreaming could have worth again. As he considered such things under the influence of the toxic liquid, he began to write a song in his head for her. As he sang the words in a quiet, impromptu performance that many would say was only for him, he hoped that she would hear him and help him return to his former life.  
  
"Who can say for certain  
  
Maybe you're still here  
  
I feel you all around me  
  
Your memory's so clear  
  
Deep in the stillness  
  
I can hear you speak  
  
You're still an inspiration  
  
Can it be  
  
That you are mine  
  
Forever love  
  
And you are watching over me from up above"  
  
As he considered the next section in silence, he remembered her dreams of flying away. He prayed that that wish had come true and she was finally happy. He remembered his own dreams and turned them into a special section, knowing deep within himself that she was listening and watching him from her new home.  
  
"Fly me up to where you are  
  
Beyond the distant star  
  
I wish upon tonight  
  
To see you smile  
  
If only for awhile to know you're there  
  
A breath away's not far  
  
To where you are"  
  
Christian dreamed of all the times they had been together in one swirl of innumerable memories. He remembered her gentle smile, cool blue eyes, fiery auburn tresses, soft voice and her slow crescendo of songs when they were alone together and any scents or sounds he could remember. He could almost feel her touch and smell her unique scent in the air as he sang quietly, once again praying for the answer to all his questions.  
  
"Are you gently sleeping  
  
Here inside my dream  
  
And isn't faith believing  
  
All power can't be seen  
  
As my heart holds you  
  
Just one beat away  
  
I cherish all you gave me everyday  
  
'Cause you are mine  
  
Forever love  
  
Watching me from up above"  
  
Could this be true? Was she really watching over him, saddened by his state of mourning and nothingness? He hoped that he could change if she was and become a better man. He wanted to be the man he used to be for her.  
  
"And I believe  
  
That angels breathe  
  
And that love will live on and never leave  
  
Fly me up  
  
To where you are  
  
Beyond the distant star  
  
I wish upon tonight  
  
To see you smile  
  
If only for awhile  
  
To know you're there  
  
A breath away's not far  
  
To where you are  
  
I know you're there  
  
A breath away's not far  
  
To where you are."  
  
Christian's voice faded into the night. He sat down at his typewriter and write down the words he had just sung. He wanted to save the song in case such an occasion arose again. He wanted her to know that he still loved her and that all was well in his soul. When the last word was typed, he looked up at the night sky and smiled for the first time in what seemed to be an eternity. Satine was watching him, smiling happily, and he knew it.  
  
"Happy birthday, Satine. I love you."  
  
*****  
  
Author's note: The song is "To Where You Are" performed by Josh Groban. May sound familiar if you have read "Where You Are" by Linz005. Sorry about that if you read this, Linz. I wrote this, then read yours, but I couldn't bear to delete this one. I love it too much! Hope that's okay. 


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